Everybody's Scared of Something
by penaschmidt
Summary: Everyone always assumed that Kendall Knight was afraid of nothing. But even the so called fearless leader got scared sometimes. Luckily he has awesome friends to help get him through it.* Written for BigTimeRush-BTR. * *It's a wee bit KENLOS*


**I wrote this for BigTimeRush-BTR because she's like one of my favourite authors on here and she requested it. It was hard for me to write a vulnerable Kendall and I tried to be unique but I just couldn't think of anything that was, so sorry. But I hope you like it anyway Dani **

The four hockey players from Minnesota had become the boys of Big Time Rush and they were just getting used to the perks of being in a famous boy band. One of said perks was getting to live at the Palmwoods, home of the future famous. The awesome 2J, the park, all the other residents, the pool. The pool. Two words that had haunted Kendall Knight from the moment Kelly had mentioned it existed. You see, Kendall had been scared of the water since he was young. That's right, the strong and fearless leader, was afraid of a little H2O. He wouldn't let anybody know this; after all, he couldn't be seen as weak. Lucky for him, living in Minnesota, there wasn't exactly people lining up at the gates of a swimming pool.

The first day they had arrived at the Palmwoods and had been told there was an awesome pool, Kendall's heart filled with dread. How was he going to explain not wanting to get in what was an amazing pool? He couldn't tell them that he couldn't swim because, well, for a start that would be just as embarrassing as being scared of the water and because despite the cold temperatures of Minnesota, the boys had taken swimming lessons together when they were just toddlers, so they knew very well Kendall could swim. Fortunately for Kendall, when he passed up going for a swim for going to 'finish unpacking and exploring their new home', the other three boys had been too excited to care and simply continued running.

Day after day, every time the boys wanted to go for a swim, Kendall would have to think of an excuse to not go in the water. It was always an "I'm not feeling well" or an "I'm too busy" or other lame excuses like that. As much as they all loved and cared for Kendall, worrying about why he didn't want to go swimming wasn't one of their top priorities because hey, what did it really hurt him not joining them and by God if they had a pool to swim in and the heat of L.A, they were sure as hell gonna go swim in it. So after a while, they just stopped asking Kendall to join them in the pool and when they went swimming they tried not to make all three go at once, so there was always one of them to chill with Kendall. And Kendall liked it like that, because for one, he got to spend some more one on one time with each of the boys which generally never happens and two he never had to tell them of his stupid, petty, little fear. It continued like this for an entire summer.

The real problem happened in early August of their second year in Hollywood. A heat wave had hit L.A, temperatures reaching as high as 450C (I don't know Fahrenheit, sorry, but believe me 45C is fucking unbelievably hot). James, Logan and Carlos, not to mention the rest of the Palmwoods wanted to be in the pool every waking moment, and so when they weren't at rehearsal or doing a show or interview that was where they were. They had abandoned the 'one person stay out with Kendall rule'. After about a week of the disgusting heat, the boys started being more baffled by the whole 'no pooly for Kendy' thing, so Logan finally spoke up.

"Hey Kendall, it's stinkin' hot man, just come in the pool"

"It's not that hot"

"You have got to be freaking kidding me! This isn't pool water on my face, it's sweat, I'm actually dying" piped in James.

"I just don't feel like swimming" Kendall tried to appear nonchalant.

James scoffed at him, Carlos remained silent because he didn't want to pressure Kendall, and Logan being the little sarcastic shit he is went with the casual "If Kendall doesn't want to swim, you can't make him, he'll just die of heat exhaustion, then it won't be our problem". Logan grinned as he said it, letting Kendall know he was only kidding and Kendall laughed.

James and Logan continued playing in the water, but Carlos stared up at Kendall with those sad little puppy dog eyes of his. Kendall hated seeing his little squishy upset so he mouthed a "maybe next time", to which Carlos beamed with the new hope that Kendall might actually join them in the pool for once.

After another half hour or so in the pool, the boys started to get bored, but there was certainly no way they were getting out, not until the temperature had dropped at least 15-20 degrees. James suddenly had an idea and whispered for Logan and Carlos to get a little closer. So they did. As they were huddled together James suggested they go pick up Kendall and throw him into the pool. Logan laughed and quickly agreed, saying that it would be good for him to cool down. Carlos was a little more hesitant to agree, but after a little bit of coaxing, he caved and just said he didn't want to be held responsible, especially when he suspected Kendall would flip his shit.

It happened so fast. James had run up to Kendall's chair, picked him up and before Kendall could even react James had thrown him in straight into the deep end. Nobody had ever seen Kendall move so fast. He quickly rose to the surface, trying his hardest to suppress screams of fear and jumped out of the pool, grabbing a random towel and sprinting back to the apartment softly crying. Crying that hadn't gone unnoticed by his three best friends.

"Oh shit James, look what you did" Logan reprimanded James.

"Well, you agreed to it and so did Carlos. I thought he would just yell at us then get over it, I wasn't expecting him to freak out and start crying" defended James.

"I guess I better go talk to him"

"No! I'll go, I think I know what to say to him" Carlos chimed in.

James and Logan felt guilty about what they had done, but they trusted Carlos to do the talking, because as much as he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, they knew he loved Kendall more than anything in the world and that the feeling was very much mutual for Kendall, so they just got out of the pool and went to sit in the air conditioned lobby waiting for Carlos to calm Kendall down so they could properly apologize.

Carlos leaned against the door of Kendall and Logan's room, hearing soft crying. It broke his heart. He knocked on the door and was met with a "Go Away!" But Carlos knew that Kendall wasn't just going to say 'oh come in, let's have some tea', so he walked in slowly anyway. When Carlos entered and walked over to a still wet Kendall on his bed and sat down, Kendall prepared himself for the question, being silently grateful that it was Carlos he would have to tell his secret to.

"Hey buddy, you okay? What was that all about?"

"It's about me being upset that you guys didn't respect my wishes", Kendall tried to avoid the real topic of concern.

"Come on, you and I both know that's not the reason you are crying right now. You can tell me, I won't judge you." Carlos was pretty sure he knew why Kendall had the reaction he did. He was obviously scared of the water, but what Carlos didn't know was why. He wanted Kendall to open up to him and let him know why the water bothered him so much. Kendall stayed silent, not wanting to tell Carlos the truth, so Carlos tried to prompt him.

"You wanna know something Kendall?"

"What?"

"The other day, a ladybug crawled on me and I almost crapped my pants."

Kendall chuckled, rolling over onto his back. "A Ladybug? Why would you crap your pants over a ladybug? They are the cutest of all the insects. That's silly."

"No, it isn't. Ladybugs ARE NOT cute. When I was six, one flew up my nose and I almost choked to death! And besides, even if the little satans were 'cute', it still wouldn't be silly, because being scared of something isn't silly. It's okay to be scared sometimes, and hey, I can pick up spiders and jump off roofs, so I think I am pretty brave thank you very much"

"I'm scared of the water", Kendall shyly admitted after a few beats of silence.

"I know"

"You knew?!"

"Yep, granted, not until about 15 minutes ago when you jumped out of the water crying and I put the pieces together. Do you mind telling me why you're so scared though? I mean, you don't have to, but maybe it will help"

"I think it's because of something that happened when I was 10, right before my dad died. Do you remember in fifth grade when I had all that time off even before my dad passed?"

"Yeah, you had like pneumonia or something right?"

"Yeah, I did. I think how I got that is the reason I am so scared of water. You see, my dad had taken me out skating, and we were having such a good time too, because he hadn't been able to do much since he started getting sick and it was one of his good days. I remember he had grabbed me off the couch and shouted WERE GOING SKATING. He looked so happy, and that's how we both felt. We spent the whole day on the ice. But right as we were about to go home, I skated over a soft patch of ice, and then I remember hearing the crack and then feeling the unbelievable cold. I panicked and I couldn't come up for air. It was so scary, I thought I was gonna die. But then I felt my dad grab me and push me up and out onto the ice and him struggling to get out after me. When he eventually got out, he was holding me, panting and crying. And I was too. Then we went home and told mum and she panicked so much and sent us both straight to bed with hot cocoa. But that didn't stop us from getting sick. We both got real sick and dad was already so sick, that deep down I knew what it meant for him. After I got better, he didn't. After I had gone back to school, he just kept getting worse and worse. And then he was gone within the month. It's my fault he got sicker, he wouldn't have died if I hadn't fallen in the water, at least not as soon as he had" Kendall told his story with tears in his eyes.

"Oh Kendall, I'm so sorry" Carlos hugged Kendall tight as he began sobbing into Carlos' shoulder. They stayed like that for a good 20 minutes, Kendall letting out all the tears he could cry.

When Kendall had calmed down enough to talk he hiccupped and leaned up from Carlos' shoulder, still being held by his small best friend. "I think I should probably tell James and Logan about my little fear, so they don't freak out, will you help me?"

"Of course. I think they wanna apologize to you as well, so let's go talk to them"

Kendall and Carlos got in the elevator going down to the lobby to meet a worried James and Logan. The other two had been waiting there for ages and were starting to get extremely worried. So when they saw Carlos and Kendall walking out of the elevator, they ran up to them, shouting apologies at Kendall. He told them all was forgiven and that the reason he was so upset was because he in fact had hydrophobia, Logan having to explain to James that in fact meant fear of the water. Kendall decided he wasn't ready to tell them about why and left out the incident with his father, which Carlos respected and kept his mouth shut.

After a long, exhausting, hot day, the boys had their dinner, watched some movies and went to bed. Not Carlos, however, he stayed up until all hours of the morning reading article after article in psychology journals about phobias online. He was looking for a way to fix them and the word 'flooding' kept coming up. As Carlos' eyes started to grow heavy, he decided that he would handle it tomorrow. After all, flooding the bathroom with water had to be a fairly easy way to help Kendall get over his fear.

The next morning, the boys woke up to a screaming Carlos and when they all ran out of their rooms they were surprised to see him with a bunch of towels and water pouring out of the bath and all over the bathroom floor.

"Carlos! What on Earth are you doing" screamed a frustrated Logan.

"I was trying to flood the bathroom, because I read all these articles about how flooding helps treat phobia's and I wanted to help Kendall, but I didn't really think it through and now there is a mess everywhere and I'm sorry Kendall, I just wanted to make you not scared anymore and are you scared anymore?" Carlos rambled.

"Carlos, buddy, when they say flooding, they don't mean to flood the bathroom. They mean expose the client with the stimuli eliciting the high arousal response with excessive frequency and intensity. Teaching them that their fear is not rational and thus curing them of their phobia."

"Um…in English please?"

"Pretty much throw their fear in their face so they get over it"

"Ahh! Please don't throw me in the water again" Kendall finally chimed in.

"Don't worry buddy, we won't. There are other ways to treat phobias that may not be as quick but are still effective if you wanted to try?"

"Yeah, I think I do wanna try. That would be great if you guys could help me with that."

"Of course", all three other boys agreed.

"Alright, I'm hungry. Mama Knight will clean up your mess Carlos, let's go eat" announced James.

All three boys headed to the breakfast table, Logan making them bacon and eggs and James setting the table. As soon as James and Logan were out of ear shot, Kendall leaned in and whispered to Carlos "Thanks for yesterday, and trying to help me this morning, I thought it was a pretty good idea." Carlos responded with a bashful you're welcome and then ordered Logan to hurry up with the food. As the boys sat down to enjoy their cooked breakfast, they heard a "WHAT HAVE YOU BOYS DONE TO MY BATHROOM!?"

All four boys looked up at each other with nervous glances and quickly bolted out the front door.

**Wow, this was the longest thing I have ever written. It actually turned out better than I expected. Anyways, I hope this is kinda what you were after Dani. Thanks for the request and for the reviews on my stories, they mean so much to me (as do all your guys reviews and faves) because you are one of my fave writers. **

**P.S I realize that Kendall runs straight into the pool and is seen swimming quite often in the show, but this is fiction and if I were to stick strictly to the showverse characters, we wouldn't have a scared, vulnerable Kendall now, would we.**

**Anyways, review if you like, or don't, whatever floats ya boat. **


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